This Is What It’s REALLY Like To Have Three Kids

When I found out I was pregnant with my third baby, shock took over. Which is silly, really, because I should have known that if we did what we did the outcome would be what it was…

Coming from a family of just two kids – my younger sister and me – I had never experienced being part of a big family. Growing up, I always figured that when I had kids I’d have a whole bunch. I loved the idea of a busy household with a lot of excitement. The kids would always have someone to play with and no one would ever feel bored.

Yet when I faced that mom-of-three reality, panic set in.

All of a sudden being the mom of three small humans seemed really overwhelming. And honestly scary.

Would I be able to give them everything they needed?

How would we deal with the sleep deprivation … again?

Would I find the necessary patience, especially on the challenging days?

And most importantly, would they all feel loved now that our energy would be spread to another person?

There were just so many unknowns as we approached this zone defense … what is it really like to have three kids?

I am happy to report that six months into this whole mom-of-three routine we’ve got going on, we are all alive and well. We had our sweet boy, his brother and sister welcomed him, and we’ve definitely embraced our Party of 5 groove.

The past 6 months have been a whirlwind; some days fly while other drag on, the seconds seeming to pass slower and slower as bedtime approaches. While I don’t have the urge to pause time (because let’s face it, now would be an exhausting point in which to stay), I wanted to put this post together for two reasons:

1. To remember details from this time, when we are “in the thick of it.” I fear that our tired days and sleepless nights will lead to blurry memories at best.
2. If there is a mom out there about to have her third baby, maybe this will help her and give her some insight and reassurance!

 

Alright … onto the details!

The Good

• We’ve used all of our baby gear (car seat, swing, Ergo, bouncy seat, diaper genie, cradle, crib, clothes – literally everything) to the max. It’s so satisfying to get so much use out of these items!
• I know how to do everything already. Not to sound over-confident, but giving the third baby his first bath, for example, is like old hat.
• I’m less nervous about every gurgle and burp the baby makes.
• I know how to breastfeed and how to stave off mastitis.
• I don’t freak out when the baby cries (I know he’s likely tired, hungry, or needs to burp).
• Exercise happens whether you make it out of the house or not. Someone always needs to be held!
• Honestly, things are never boring. Someone always needs something, so while mothering three kids takes a lot of work and patience, boredom does not exist.
• We get a lot, and I mean a lot of grandparent help. This provides a wonderful relief for Ben and me, but the magical part is seeing the bonds forming between the kids and their grandparents.
• Going anywhere with two kids – let alone only one – feels like the easiest thing in the world!
• I’m crazy efficient at getting things done when I have the opportunity. Tasks that used to take me half a day now take me half an hour.

The Tough

• Moments of quiet and peace rarely happen; it’s challenging to find a moment to simply take a deep breath.
• I honestly cannot see when, in the foreseeable future, we will be sleeping through the night. I try not to think too much about this because I get a little overwhelmed. In my case, I actually have three pretty great sleepers! But nightmares + potty training + sleep regressions = broken sleep for years to come.
• Finding a babysitter to care for three kids is rare. Feeling comfortable if we ever find one? Not convinced it’ll ever happen.
• Grocery shopping is a pain. I’m either doing it with one which is ok, two which is exhausting (baby in the Ergo, toddler in the cart), or by myself which is depressing (if I have the time alone, I’d rather be sweating). I’ve yet to grocery shop with all three and I’d like to keep it that way as long as possible!
• I had to start supplementing with formula much earlier than I was ready to for my third. I couldn’t keep up with pumping because there was too much to do in terms of caring for everyone.
• Formula is expensive!
• Other stuff is expensive too, like diapers and food in general and any activities we want the kids to do. I figure we are making a trade off though – we certainly go out to dinner a lot less frequently than we did before having kids, and I definitely don’t buy too much for myself these days.
• Ben and I have to make an incredibly conscience effort to connect outside of the kids. We get absorbed into bath time and drop offs and school lunches all too easily.
• I depend on one kid (two is great but one is necessary) to hold it together and be in a great mood, otherwise things go south fast. The holding it together doesn’t always happen (they are kids after all!)

The Ugly

• When I lose my patience. You’d think with the amount of yoga I do I would have enough patience for moms everywhere. Not true. As soon as I lose my patience I always wish I could take back the yell or reprimand, because I don’t want my kids to think of me as their mom who’s angry.
• We have a box of diapers from Amazon on our front porch literally once a week, every week.
• The toys. So. Many. Toys. They’re taking over. I’m thinking that minimalism is looking pretty good.
• Oh television. My older two watch far more than I ever thought I would allow.
• I’m legitimately afraid to leave the house with all three by myself. I do, of course (when I need to!), but it’s not for the faint of heart.
• Along those lines, getting out the door with all three is just plain ugly.
• Sometimes when one is crying, another will start as well. It’s like the second one isn’t even sad, he or she just wants to add to the noise.
• The laundry. I don’t know how one tiny baby has turned our house into a laundromat.
• Exhaustion engulfs every fiber of my being. Even my hair is tired.
• I make pancakes for dinner probably three times a week.

The Truly Lovely

• I hone in on what’s important: family, health, and happiness.
• There’s no time nor energy available for fluff; having three kids makes you trim the fat.
• Ben and I are more a team now than ever before. The zone defense we’ve created would smoke the Celtics of the 60’s.
• Because we depend on that zone defense to get anything done, we’ve developed a deep appreciation for one another. I always knew Ben was a great dad, but having to tag team this whole parenting thing with three little ones make me totally aware of his awesomeness.
• Seeing how much our older two love the baby makes me think, “this is what life is all about.”
• And then when the older two make the baby laugh! Best sound ever! ☺
• As much as I once thought that having stretch marks would make me hate my stomach, I actually don’t (again, waste of energy). I want to feel good and I’m looking forward to continuing to get stronger, but not getting hung up on something like stretch marks feels so incredibly liberating.
• My kids are introducing me to fascinating things, many on which I never focused growing up. Did you know that birds today are actually considered dinosaurs?!
• I genuinely desire to make the world a better place for my kids. It’s like I want it to be better for them than it ever was for me.
• Loving another person in the family doesn’t take away love from anyone else; rather, the love multiplies.
• Something amazing happens every day. A laugh, a funny remark, a milestone. Sometimes lots of amazing things happen in a day, but without a doubt, something amazing happens. Every. Single. Day.

I know every household is different and every relationship among family members is unique. And my experience is just that – my experience. I feel like when our third baby was born, Ben and I just looked at each other, grabbed hands, and jumped out of the airplane, smiled, and braced ourselves, hoping our parachutes would open.

And open they have. It’s still scary as hell, but the thrill is totally worth it!