Gender differences have been on my mind for a while, really since my daughter Winna was about 6 months old. She’s our second out of three children, sandwiched between two brothers.
Her older brother Joseph showed excitement over excavators and cement mixers from the time he could see clearly, squealing and shivering with joy at every truck that rumbled by. So naturally we developed quite a collection of toy trucks!
Dinosaurs came next, and our bookshelves are filled with dinosaur books of every variety.
Before Winna was born we didn’t know whether we were having a boy or a girl, so I didn’t buy much of anything. We had all the gender-neutral baby gear, as we didn’t find out anyone’s gender ahead of time actually. While she did come home from the hospital in a pink onesie (courtesy of Grandma), the first toys she got her hands on were baby books, dinosaurs, and trucks. Lots of trucks!
Winna loves doing what her big brother does. She loves the lawnmower toys and playing in the big dirt pile in our yard. She loves roaring like a T. Rex and howling like a wolf. She’s totally into Robocar Poli on Netflix (parents, don’t watch it or the theme song will play on repeat in your mind morning, noon, and night!).
But when Theo, our third, was born, a much more feminine side of Winna came out. She treated him very delicately and even at only two years old, wanted to help with diaper changes and feedings. We got her a doll and that doll became her baby.
She pretended to nurse him.
She pretended to pump for him (really).
And she paid close attention to what her baby (doll) needed.
“Jack (her doll’s name) needs to take a nap!”
“Jack needs to nurse!”
“Jack’s cryin’ and needs to burp!”
I know she saw me doing all of those things with Theo, but so did Joseph and he never paid much attention nor copied them.
Sometimes I’ll instinctively reach for the more girly option when picking something out for Winna. She needs a new water bottle, this one has ballerinas on it, she’s a girl, that’s perfect.
But is it perfect?
I want to really pay attention to what she wants, what she’s passionate about, what lights her up and follow that lead rather than the traditional gender lines.
This morning on the way to pre-school, Winna told me that she wanted to go back to the zoo to see Jurassic Park. Her words, as the zoo we went to on Friday really did have an entire dinosaur display but it wasn’t called Jurassic Park…
She said she loved T. Rex, and even though he was scary she still loved him.
My little girl, twirling her dainty blonde ponytail, gazing out the car window through her big pink sunglasses, telling me she loves T. Rex and his big, sharp scary teeth.
Gosh, I just love that.
I guess my point is that I’m working on staying super present with who my kids are and what makes them tick. Not to sound corney, but I want Winna to know she has every opportunity available to her. I think it’s ok and actually really important to sit back and let kids lead for a while, rather than unconsciously shuttle them into some path them might steer them away from their passion.
Here are a few pictures from our weekend. We spent a lot of time playing in the “Gnome Woods” where Joseph was part of the Forest Gnome program at our local farm this school year. It’s an outdoor, child-led “preschool” where kids have the opportunity for a lot of free play. They also learn to respect their environment and respect each other.
Relaxing together on the Gnome swing 😊
Hugging/Rough Housing
Making sure he gets down safely ❤
Joseph was so proud as he showed us around, and he couldn’t stop telling Winna everything to expect for “when she’s a Gnome next year…”
I feel happy, yet if I’m being honest, sometimes overwhelmed, to have this opportunity to watch these personalities and interests develop. I’m honored to be able to be their biggest supporter and enthusiast even when their interests surprise me.
Motherhood really is a humbling ride.
P.S. Staying present in this electronic age and also being ok with physical changes after becoming a mom.
