Four days into 2018 and I am feeling pretty pumped about my resolutions this year! Which is new … in other years I have half-heartedly made resolutions that fizzle after just a couple of weeks. 2017 though, something about the past year has motivated me to make some sustainable, permanent changes, and the New Year is the perfect time to start.
A little background for my resolutions: in October I had my third baby, a boy named Theo. Theo is a good baby; I don’t know how else to describe him! He is happy, comfortable, healthy, and at two months old he started smiling and cooing at anything and everything his older brother and sister did. Melt. All that goodness being said, having three kids is nothing short of a challenge. Someone always needs something, and my level of wondering-if-I’m-doing-this-whole-mom-thing-right is through the roof.
Because of the extra everything at home, I’ve neglected some really important things, things that make me happy and balanced. Realizing this made me kick off 2018 with a 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge (because one of the things I was neglecting was ME!), and hone in on three additional New Years resolutions. So here goes…
1. GET STRONGER
This is definitely a fitness/physical resolution, and I became aware of just how weak I have gotten when a few weeks ago I realized I could not do one push up. Not even one. I do know (and love) that “mom strength” (e.g. carrying around a fussy baby for hours on end, pushing a double stroller with two toddlers, nursing through the night) comes in all forms, but there is something really satisfying about being able to bang out a few sets of push ups in the morning. And right now I don’t have that strength. Additionally, this brilliantly simple New York Times article highlights just how important it is to be able to do push-ups. So to specify my “get stronger” resolution, I have a goal to be able to do three sets of 20 push ups in the mornings before I start my day.
So how the heck am I going about this if I can’t even do one right now? Well, I’m winging it — kind of. My husband suggested that I do three sets of however many I can do, even if the “push ups” I am doing now are just halfway down. As of this morning, I did three sets of three barely push ups. I could go down a little bit and still be able to push back up. I’m not modifying because I feel like for me, that will give me a false sense of what I am capable of. The great thing about being so bad at them right now is that I have LOTS of room for improvement!
2. MAKE MORE TIME FOR FRIENDS
This is an important one, because all of a sudden at the end of this past December I found myself genuinely missing my friends. It then dawned on me that I hadn’t been making an effort to see them. In the moment, just staying home with my kids had been easier than pumping and leaving a bottle and showering and finding something other than old, black maternity sweatpants to throw on. But long term? Not so fun. Friendships are like living organisms: they need to be nurtured in order to thrive. Once I realized I hadn’t been making nearly enough time for some of the most special people in my life, I knew that needed to change in 2018. I don’t completely know how this will unfold, but by doing small acts like texting a friend when she pops into my mind or not bailing on girls night for the fourth time in a row will start to get this part of my life back on track.
3. LESS TIME ON PHONE, ESPECIALLY AROUND KIDS
Ohhhh smartphone, why do I feel like I need you so much?? I’ve gotten into an ugly habit of checking my phone an awful lot lately. And for no good reason. Really. I completely understand that some people need their phones nearby and they must be responsive, but I can’t remember a time when a text or email came through that was so urgent I needed to respond immediately. It just doesn’t happen for me. I mostly get obsessed about keeping my phone on me when classes are going on at my yoga studio, in case the staff have a question. But in all reality they rarely do and if something was so urgent, they could call me. I’ve definitely been guilty about checking something unimportant on my phone when my kids are talking to me, and when I look back on that, it makes me really sad. One because I want my kids to know how much I value our interactions, and two because I don’t want them to think that’s how to interact. Anyway, when I think about how much technology has evolved and how we use it so much I get scared because I don’t want it to come between personal interactions and the way we converse. In these first few days of the new year, I’ve given myself designated times to check email, and I do it in the other room when my kids are occupied. I want to have one phone and computer-free day per week also, something I hope to implement soon.
I like the idea of a fresh start and a new slate that comes with a new year. It feels good to write down goals and keep myself accountable. Here’s to a great year ahead, filled with strong, genuine interactions and transformations!
If you have a resolution you’re psyched about, let me know!